The Cairo Complex

Thursdays seem so far.
I wish they came earlier.
Like, on a Tuesday.

I’ve recently endeavored to take a month fast from Facebook, bread, pasta, rice, and potatoes in order to reclaim time for self-reflection and develop a more defined abdomen.

As of yet, only one of these goals is visually documentable.

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Today, I was chased for about 50 yards by a flying insect about the size of my thumb. It did not appear to want to make friends.

Such a Long Joyous Occasion

“Nifrah beek” is an Arabic phrase meaning, loosely,
“To rejoice for you.” Muttered most often by aunties
And uncles presiding over your cousins’ weddings.
Though, it often tends to mean much more as, teary-eyed,
The line is directed at the yet to graduate,
The unmarried, and the consummately childless.
It really means “Hurry up, already! We are all
Waiting to disapprove and cast new judgments.”
So, you smile, weakly, give a big hug, and sputter,
With a broken accent, “God-willing—Inshallah.”
All kind of charming, until about the thirteenth time.

Were I to begin a church, I would decree the following activities sacraments:

• Shaving, and beard and mustache trimming
• Shoe polishing
• Car oil changing
• Suit tailoring
• Wood chopping
• Ironing

It would be a good church. I’m open to more suggestions.